i feel like i’m making a fool out of myself. it was supposed to be all for fun, but how did this turn into this?… i don’t even know.

i am mad at myself to be affected by other people so easily. well at least now i know how far i can go before i become so emotionally occupied. i’d say this is one of my most fatal flaws. i am too gullible. i trust people easily, and i let them in too easily. i believe that everyone has good intentions. i only see the good side of them until…one day it hits me and i realize i’ve been blinded for so long. there are people out there who are genuinely good at heart, but the truth is that the majority of people will not be nice for no reasons. they want something from you. and once they get everything they need, there’s no reason for them to be around anymore.

i don’t want to get hurt this way. but how do i become stronger? to be able to be tough on the inside? to be confident, assertive, and independent? to be able to distinguish the “good people” out of the bunch? i thought being personable was a good trait, but i think i need to draw a line, at least for myself.

hopefully during this break, by demolishing and building, i can let go of all of my negative energies and begin to think more of myself, of what i want in a long run, and how i can do everyday to get closer to become the person i aspire to be.

-2/20/12